The Best Laid Plans
by Dark Rabbit
Summary: If you can manage to get your mind around the idea of Pegasus and Kaiba teaming up to do anything, then maybe the rest of this will make sense to you. Rated for sex planned, and for the underage drinking that keeps it from happening.


A perfectly gorgeous ending to a perfectly gorgeous day -- and days can get pretty damn gorgeous here in Marin, especially midway through April, when the weather is starting to get warm – the sun's still at the edge of the horizon, and the smell of orange blossoms is in the air. Every now and then you can hear a couple of doves somewhere; it's their mating call, they're trying to get some sex.

No harm in that of course. Smart doves, that's Pegasus' way of looking at it. That was sort of his and Kaiba's idea too (not that it would be such a horrible tragedy as that if nothing came of it) when they invited the two Yuugis here for dinner tonight. A nice dinner on the terrace, that was their thought, a little light conversation, maybe a drink or two, and if the four of them end up together in the big California King-sized bed upstairs? Well, what's the harm in that?

Simplest thing in the world you'd think, at least Pegasus and Kaiba thought so, back a few days ago when they sent out the invitations. Only when is anything ever as simple as you think it will be? Take getting the Puzzle off Yuugi, you'd have thought that would be simple too, right? And he'd had the Sen-Nen Eye back then, plus a whole castleful of goons to carry out his wishes. Now it was just him and Kaiba. And from the looks of it, his ally is getting ready to jump ship.

…Or something. Another man might have acknowledged that a little of the responsibility was his here (not that Pegasus ever acknowledges that any of the responsibility, for anything, ever belongs to him): You take two kids -- two longtime rivals, and neither of them all that experienced with drinking into the bargain -- you put them together, and sparks are bound to fly, right? Maybe all you wanted was to loosen them up a little – Maybe you even manage to loosen them up, but that doesn't mean you can predict which way they're going to go after they're loose.

The kids in question of course, are Kaiba and Yami. Yuugi's barely had anything to drink at all. Pegasus gave him a glass of Riesling when he got here – Next thing to soda pop, barely qualifies as wine at all in his opinion, but Yuugi just took a tiny sip, wrinkled his nose cutely, and set it aside. His Other though, is making up and more so. And so is Kaiba, who ought to have known better.

It's Kaiba, that's whose fault this really is. That's what Pegasus tells himself, as he takes little sips from his own glass of Cabernet Sauvignon and just barely restrains himself from biting huge pieces out of his glass at the same time because of his irritation. God damn him, this was his plan too, wasn't it? His brilliant plan: _We'll get the Yuugis over to your house, and then we'll take advantage of them?_ …And what the hell was going through his own mind to agree with him? Since when has he forgotten how his so-called partner-in-crime always turns into an idiot around Yami no Yuugi?

Oh, the Yuugis got here all right. And the stage was set – or the spiderweb was baited, Pegasus prefers that analogy himself – There was a dinner-table out on the terrace , and fancy subtle aromas were coming out of the kitchen. The wet-bar in the corner was all stocked and ready to loosen their guests' inhibitions. Well, the guests got here, and that's when everything started to go wrong.

You ever see a couple of tomcats when you put them together? You know how they circle around each other all stiff-legged? Think King of Games versus the CEO of KaibaCorp, and you've got a pretty good idea what started going on, on Pegasus' terrace, as soon as the Yuugis arrived. Which is maybe why Pegasus' most natural impulse was to pour cold water over both of them – Or to pour cold beer _down _both of them, since the first was of course not feasible.

So he pulls a six-pack of Kirin Extra-Dry out of the mini-fridge. Godawful cat-pee tasting stuff, why anyone would want it when they could have red wine instead, that's his opinion about beer (Of course that's his opinion about Pepsi too. …And water, for that matter.) but Kaiba likes it. And Yami hasn't actually bothered mentioning what he likes yet.

"Chardonnay, actually," that's Yuugi's helpful comment, said to Pegasus in passing, as one pissed-off American billionaire moves forward to calm down his partner-in-crime (or to brain him with the six-pack, if that doesn't work), "mou hitori no boku likes to drink Chardonnay."

"Don't we all," Pegasus comments back, also in passing, and then there he is in between the two tomcats, holding up the beer and saying brightly, "anyone for a drink?"

And, "I'll have one," Kaiba says, "but" – with a baleful look toward Yami – "he probably doesn't drink."

"Oh, I drink," Yami says, sort of answering Pegasus, but really with all his attention focused on the guy with the coattails of doom, "although I don't care for beer very much."

Kaiba's snort says he probably can't handle it.

"I'll have one now," Yami amends quickly, then – and this one really is just in passing – "I'll bet I can drink more of them than you can," he tells Kaiba.

Who just snatches his first one from Pegasus. A pop of the top, and a couple of quick gulps, say what he thinks about the bet. He's grabbed for a second one before Yami can get hold of his first, and he wipes the last foam of it from his lips before he responds, "not even with your Other Self helping you drink."

Speaking of his Other Self, Yuugi doesn't seem to like the sight of Yami, chug-a-lugging Kirins with Kaiba. "Mou hitori no boku's not used to beer," he worries aloud, "he's probably going to…" Before he can say _lose,_ Pegasus hurries him inside to watch Flight of the Conchords, and maybe do a little, very discrete, cuddling on his big leather sofa.

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As for losing, that's the last thing on Yami's mind, and not just because Pegasus didn't let Yuugi say it. He's the King of Games, when in human memory (and unlike most of the people he knows, his memory goes back a long, long time) has he ever lost anything? And besides, didn't Kaiba drink two beers for his first one? That's all the handicap, his self-confidence tells him, that the Wearer of the Sen-Nen Puzzle needs, to beat a six-foot tall Japanese guy who outweighs him by 40 pounds. And he grabs for his third beer.

Kaiba is on his fourth one (he's taken another six-pack out of the fridge; weird thing is, he could have sworn that Pegasus stocked the thing mostly with wine, but he looks in there, and there's plenty of Kirin now …and maybe, somewhere, some Sen-Nen Luck snickering a little). He drinks it like he did the others, fast as he can take it, only he is maybe not so embarrassed this time, about the loud burp when he finishes.

And as for Yami, he outright giggles. "Bet I can burp louder too," he says, taking his own next beer double-fast just so he can prove it. This first round ends in a draw (although it gets both of them giggling), and it takes most of the next six-pack before they can reach a conclusive judgment: Yes, Yami no Yuugi can burp the loudest.

He can't hold his beer the best though. Of course, neither can Kaiba (maybe Pegasus could, but whatever else you can say about him -- and, over the years, a lot of people have said a whole lot of things about him – at least the Creator of Duel Monsters has the good sense not to try. …And besides, he's had his fill of competing with the Darker Yuugi – and then some!). He doesn't so much sit, as he does _sprawl_, back into the fancy wrought-iron chair that was supposed to be his seat at dinnertime. "Y'know," he says, "you're all right. I always thought you were stuffy" – Here, he opens his sixth can of Kirin, and then watches, unperturbed, as the foam cascades down his hand. – "but you're not, not really," he says.

Sitting at his own place at the table, Yami smiles back at him. "Yeah, me too," he says.

"Friends?" Kaiba throws out his arms – What good he's expecting that to do, when there's all the whole length of the dinner table between them, and neither of them too steady on his feet right now, is a good question. But he throws out his arms.

"Friends," Yami tells him. …Right before both of them collapse, face-first, right into Pegasus' artfully-prepared dinner salads.


End file.
